i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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