Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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