Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
