HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
