Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Even my vagina gasped.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
