Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
