Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
