Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize