Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
