I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
