I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
