No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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