I feel like I'm in dance class right now
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
