So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
