why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
