So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
