She is in my trunk
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
