he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize