We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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