TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize