I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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