I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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