I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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