There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Bring me that man meat
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