New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
