hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
