this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This is my gift to your gina
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
