She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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