Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
