I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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