Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
