Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize