I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
