My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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