just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
