What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize