he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
