after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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