Ambien. No doubt about it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
