If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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