remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
