but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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