I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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