you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
