after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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