Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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