Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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