I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
