i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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