Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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