No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This baby is an asshole
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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