im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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