Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
