My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
