he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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