my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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