It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize