You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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