He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
