we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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