is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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