I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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